History of TurboCAD - Rob Berry

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Rob Berry’s History of TurboCAD

In the beginning there was the Word and the Word was God. The Word was good and the Word generated much prosperity. So, as a young man seeking my fortune, I went to see God and I said "I'm young, intelligent and willing to work hard. Let me help you spread the Word to all the four corners of the earth”. And God was pleased and took me under his wing and trained me in the ways of the Word. He said, "See here is my son Jesus who produces the Word through me, and see here are his disciples who document his actions. Commune with them and spread the Word, and I will be fabulously wealthy". So I worked, I learned, and I spread the Word. And the Word made God fabulously wealthy and provided me with a modest income, at least enough to get through college.

So the Word spread and was prosperous, but as it spread the Devil got ear of it and sent his demons to feast on the spoils. He used skillful tactics to undermine the Word such as promises of alternative cash. Even God himself was taken by these false promises and was eventually forced to fight the devil in legal court and lost. So to pay his debt to the devil God made a deal with Buddha. And God said "Buddha, I am unable to spread the Word, you take it and spread it to the four corners. You too can be prosperous from the Word."

So Buddha took the Word and tried to change it to his own style, but for as much as he tried he just could not get the same fire and brimstone feeling. So Buddha went to Jesus and said "Jesus, I need your help". So Jesus, who by now actually wanted to be God, made a deal with Buddha to help write the Word on condition he be allowed to climb many high mountains all over the world so that he could at least feel like God part of the time. So the deal was done and Jesus went off to the far land where he met Mary. In no time they fell in love and got married and Jesus got his green card. No, Mary was not a prostitute!

So Jesus realized he could not write the Word himself but needed disciples to help him. So he went to the other side of the world and found some Catholics. They particularly liked Jesus, but especially Mary, and quickly agreed to help write the Word. So it was that Buddha, Mary and Jesus instructed the Catholics, through a Russian translator, how to create the Word. And for the most part the Word was good and it was prosperous.

It was then Jesus spoke to me personally and said "Brother, I have spoken with Buddha and we agree that you should come to my side and help me spread the Word." So flattered was I to be addressed in this manner, I sold up all my earthly possessions and headed for this far land where Jesus, Mary, Buddha and I worked side by side to create and spread the Word. But it wasn't long, nor surprising, when Jesus announced that he was permanently off to the mountains but that his Word would live on long after he left. So being the faithful disciple motivated by the thought I might one day become like Jesus, I continued to spread the Word. And the Word was good and it was prosperous.

But sure enough the Devil again caught wind of the Word and desired to exploit its profits. This time he sent millions and millions of distractions with associated lawsuits and other financial burdens. Buddha fought gallantly but was forced to relinquish his control to two of his closest disciples: a Monk and a Jew. At one point, the devil nearly had his way when the Word was temporally stopped, but in an incredible rally the Monk and Jew countered to save the day. They recruited me and the Catholics to continue working to save the Word. We were all heroes and for a short while I even felt like Jesus myself. But the devil would not let go of his pound of flesh and demanded that the Word continue to pay the debts of others.

So frustrated with the Devils ways, and motivated by a desire to play golf on Friday afternoons, I decided to start my own path to spread the Word. I joined with one of Buddha’s earlier disciples, an American Indian who is in touch with nature. Together we have been spreading the Word to all the corners. And the Word has been good and provides a modest income.

But for now, we the faithful wait longing in these times of purgatory for the next release of the Word. It appears that the devil has switched tactics and is now starting to summon the weather to his cause. God has taken to roaming the plains of Africa calling for free sharing of the Word. Buddha was heard grumbling about whether or not he should be placed above God in the “Big Organizational Chart”. The Monk was last seen disappearing into a cloud of smoke. But the Catholics and the Jews continue to be faithful and there is significant hope that with their latest efforts the Word will rise to its full potential without hindrance.

As for me I am waiting for the day when Jesus returns triumphant and uses the word to slay all on comers. God, Mary, Buddha, the Monks, Jews and Catholics alike will all rejoice in celebration and the Word will be spread to all the children of the world. And I, of course, shall be fabulously wealthy.